Self-Deception Everyone is Guilty of It

Humans, as much as we know, are the only creatures that engage in self-deception.  For example, knowing the prevalence of rationalization in humans, new medications must undergo double-blind testing, where even the testers do not know which is real and which is a placebo.

Consider these examples of self-deception and misperception:

• 90% of people think that they are in the top half of teaching skills.
• 93% of drivers think they are better than average.
• 87% of MBA students believe they are outperforming their peers.

There are many, many more examples.  The hard truth is, humans can be quite masterful at self-deception. “No, I’m not!” some readers already may be thinking.  David Dunning, a specialist in this topic, said this:  “If you’re incompetent, you can’t know you’re incompetent. The skills you need to produce a right answer are exactly the skills you need to recognize what a right answer is.”  He went on to say, “North Americans seem to be the kings and queens of overestimation. If you go to places like Japan, Korea or China, this whole phenomenon evaporates.”   It is living in denial; a choice to refuse rigorous examination to take care of the ego.

“We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.”

-[Multiple attributions]

Humans are, well, self-deceptive about their self-deception.  What is one to do?

• Encourage – even request – your quiet leaders to share their perspective.The best of us may tend to overestimate our own powers of observation, especially self-reflection.  Easier said than done, but if you are a typical person, you already believe you are up to the task!  Enroll introverts prior to the meeting, as they want others to bring strong support for their ideas. These people often are quiet because they are being observant.
• If you feel that you are an expert in the topic at hand, then stop yourself right there!  Becoming an expert takes substantial time.  In his best-selling book, “Outliers,” Malcolm Gladwell said that it takes 10,000 hours to reach a level of mastery in any field.  For success in leadership, treat it as a practice, where every interaction is an opportunity to improve.  While there are no definitive studies on how long it takes to master a skill, my observation is that it takes three to four years of effort (a college degree takes four years, after all).  Thus, in our lifetime, we will master, truly master, somewhere around 10 skills.
• Do not multitask.  Doing so successfully is a myth.  Holding three things at one time in our current thinking is our upper limit.  Multitasking is the opposite of gaining mastery.
• Rejoice in being a novice.  In a society of performance or false performance, we rarely give ourselves the gift to be a beginner at something once we reach adulthood.
• Express creativity and mastery in multiple domains.  For example, if you define yourself solely by success in your career, you may be unwilling to take risks and invest time to develop skills beyond your continual ambition to move upward in the organization.
• When you pick a new skill to master, invest in it all the way.  Read many books from varying perspectives on the topic.  Enroll a mentor or coach whom you trust enough to both help you build the skill and to hold you accountable.  Instead of going to speeches, where comprehension is difficult, find highly interactive environments to learn, where feedback in the moment is a part of the process.  Your mentor must be of the sort who gives you supportive feedback, including feedback that you may not “want” to hear but is useful to hear.  This must be someone who places your growth above being your pal.  Small group learnings work, if the learner can let go of their vulnerability and go all-in.
• Seek external, objective help, be it through executive coaching, leadership assessments, and, even for some, a little counseling.
• Welcome critical feedback.  Rumi, a 13th century thinker and poet, said:  “If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?”